9/07/2011

make this moment count

In about three weeks I'll turn a quarter-of-a-century old. Yep, twenty-five. Just looking at those words makes me feel very, very old... When I was twenty, I never imagined that I would be where I am today, doing what I'm doing. When I was fifteen, well, twenty-five was ancient to me then...I probably didn't let myself so much as think about being so old. But certainly I would have imagined my life to be so very different than how it really is now.

For most of my life, my greatest desire has been to be married, to raise a family, to make a beautiful home, to live a simple, quiet life. It's what I remember wanting with all my heart when I was fourteen...seventeen...twenty-one...and now twenty-five. 
Those God-given desires have never changed. And of course, all those years I most likely imagined that right about now I would certainly be preparing dinner for my husband...the mother of several children just waking up from their naps...decorating my own home instead of continuing to simply file all those pretty, inspiring interior designs...



And now, Lord,
what wait I for?
my hope is in thee.
[Psalm 39:7]


Sometimes, I'll be heart-honest, it's hard not getting the things that you want when you want them. It's not always peaches and cream being twenty-five and single, living at home, and fighting back tears in the Target check-out line because that young family over there looks so beautiful and you want to be there, like them. And it's sooo hard to wait around for something you know might never even happen... But it's even harder to give up when you know that what you're waiting for is everything you've always wanted.

[My Starbucks has been a little slow in bringing out the pumpkin spice
lattes...so Gloria Jeans had to do. I must have been deprived,
because it was surprisingly good.]
Yes, I want to be married. I want to plan my own wedding. I want to hold my own baby in my arms. I want to cook breakfast for my own family. I want to teach my little boy how to tie his shoes. I want to throw tea parties for my little girls. But God has been challenging my heart to learn [and relearn] to make the most of this time. It's not easy, but I would hate to regret even one minute of it. Because I'll never be given it back again and I'm not getting any younger! =] This life is far too short and way too awesome to live merely hoping and waiting for the future. Real life doesn't begin as soon as you meet Mr. Marvelous or walk down the aisle...real life is being lived right now. Those little moments, the little things in life that we seldom take the time to notice or enjoy? Someday we'll realize that they were the big things.


For a long time it had seemed to me
that life was about to begin - real life.
But there were always some obstacles in the way,
something to be gotten through first,
some unfinished business,
time still to be served, a debt to be paid.
Then life would begin.
At last it dawned on me
that these obstacles were my life.
[Alfred D. Souza]


Don't give up, don't lose hope. But don't live with regrets either. Make the most of these moments of time that will never be returned to us again... Because God is GOOD and when you stop and look around, this life really is pretty amazing.


xoxo,
 Sara